Just a matter of time before this is a comic book or cartoon series....
It's the biggest news in law enforcement since Elvis Presley shook hands with Richard Nixon while accepting a US Marshall badge. The words in bold are my ever-so-witty comments.

Shaquille O'neal Joins Department Of Justice.

It's a full-court press against the bad guys.

Miami Beach Police Chief Don De Lucca welcomed Shaq to his police force. "Shaq's interest in police work is very real," De Lucca said. "He'd be a great undercover guy.?

Ummm? the cops know that everyone knows who Shaq is and what he looks like, right?


"I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet," O'Neal said recently.

He drops by the department regularly for one-on-one instruction, speaks to De Lucca at least once a week, and is a few training hours shy of being certified to make arrests, conduct search warrants and carry a .40-caliber pistol.

O'Neal has been interested in law enforcement since he was a teen. He was raised by a stepfather who was an Army sergeant. Two of his uncles worked in law enforcement.

While playing for the Lakers, he went through the police academy and became a reserve officer with the Los Angeles Port Police.

During the 2000 offseason, he rode along with the Orange County Sheriff's Office in Florida. They recovered three stolen cars and made a handful of arrests.

I think this could lead to a new trend in pro basketball. Instead of being a bunch of thugs, they might all get legal guns so they can bust perps and slam dunk crime as we know it!

My House Smells Today
When I got home from work this morning, the house smelled of sweet peppers. That's because last night I made homemade sweet and sour pork, with three different kinds of fresh peppers. Throw in two apples, a strong onion, some pineapple and a can of chilis, and the result is a sweetness combined with sour that lingers to the next day.

This morning, I stopped off at the coffeehouse on my way home. One of our main cooks is out with a back injury and I popped in to see if they might need a little help. They asked if I would make a dessert or two, real quick.

I punched in and looked around at what was on hand. Then I gathered up a couple of cookbooks and scribbled some notes.

The result: two rhubarb desserts. One is a rhubarb spice cake, heavy on the cloves and nutmeg and covered with a mild vanilla frosting. The second is rhubarb crisp. I topped it with some oatmeal, walnuts, cinnamon and butter and a little whole wheat bran.

The whole restaurant smelled of rhubard and sweet clove, and the waitresses said that people were asking when the stuff would be done.

It was a nice way to spend an hour. I worked at the group home last night and when I get home, I'm always restless anyway. So it's nice to get paid for an hour to go bake and make people happy.

Loving The Job
My work at the coffeehouse has really taken a turn for the better. My hours have changed, and so have my duties.

On the days I don't work at the group home, I go to the restaurant at 3 AM and work until about 7:30. I work alone for most of the morning, which means I get to cook, bake, and blast music. Not too terrible, eh?

Every day, I bake three kinds of muffins, two varieties of scones, cinnamon twists, caramel rolls, and whatever cookie I feel like. Yesterday, I made ginormous peanut butter cookies, and today I made snickerdoodles. A few times a week, I make chocolate chip, molasses and oatmeal-raisin cookies. I bake bread almost every day.

I also make soups, Rice Krispies Bars, pies and cakes. If we need them, I make pasta salad, potato salad, and other assorted items. If someone comes in wanting breakfast, I cook things to order. It's busy, but it's also the fastest four hours of my day.

Honestly, I wake up in the mood to get to work. I'm actually excited about this job at 2:30 in the AM.

Man, if I could get this place to give me full-time hours at the pay rate I get at the group home, I would do this job for 20 years.

I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a job as much as I do this one.

Okay, now this is funny.
Just in case people forget that I am not in favor of this war:




I found this t-shirt at Extra Ugly, a site that is awfully proud of disturbing images and language. So if you're sensitive, don't click here.

I just heard that a friend of mine passed away a few days ago.

I haven't seen Peter Bryce for a while -- maybe even a year or two, except for a brief encounter about two weeks ago. I saw him outside of a store and I talked to him for a few minutes.

He was a talented man, and smart. He knew more about music than anyone I've ever known. He was a student of the nature of music -- what made something musical, what it meant, how it mattered. He was also a gifted musician.

Peter was a gentle soul, and though I rarely saw him in the last few years, every time we met I was glad to see him and always enriched by the meeting. He was smarter than I by a great margin, and I always suspected that he operated on a level of experience that I will never know.

He spent great amounts of time thinking and writing about esoteric ideas as to religion, history and music. Sometimes he would reference things that were completely unknown to me as if they were everyday knowledge. When I asked about details, he'd say he read the tidbit of knowledge in a four hundred year-old manuscript or out of print book.

Peter's greatest gift to me was his love of humanity. Over the years, we spent several hundred hours talking about the terrible way most humans treat each other, and what we could do to make things better. Ultimately, we always wound up at the same place: each of us can choose to be kind, and that's the best we can do.

On that score, Peter Bryce was a complete success. I will miss him.

Hilary Clinton: Stealth Presidential Candidate
Hilary Wants You, Iowa!

It's the worst-kept secret in politics. Hilary Clinton wants to be the President of the USA. She won't come right out and say it, but that's what she wants.

The above link will take you to story on Yahoo News. It appears that going to Iowa right now is rather inconvenient for the Senator, so she's inviting Iowans to come visit her in Washington.

I'm sure that Clinton's business with Iowa has nothing at all to do with the presidential caucus that is held there. Surely, New York (the state she represents in the senate) has some sort of urgent business with Iowa. Maybe there's a New York/Iowa Alliance in the works.

I don't have a problem with Hilary Clinton, really. While she would be a ridiculous candidate, I truly believe she would be a good president. In fact, I would vote for her in a second. She's smart, savvy, and let's be honest -- less morally compromised than her husband.

It would be nice to see a president in the White House that would be able to provide me a challenge if we were ever to play Scrabble. Don't get me wrong; I don't believe for a second that Bush is stupid. You don't get where he is today without having some brains. But words ain't his thing.

And I don't have too much of a problem with Bush, either. I think that people told him a whole bunch of stuff he wanted to hear, and he acted on what he heard. I think he really believed that it was important to invade Iraq. I totally disagree with him, but I don't thing he's some stupid evil person trying to take over the world.

But before he actually invades another country, I hope he gets in touch with me first. I'd love the opportunity to talk to him about it. But back to Hilary.

I think that she is a forward-thinking, intelligent and thoughtful person. She has some ideas I don't agree with, and some seriously bizarre baggage. But I believe that she would do good things as a President. It would be interesting (to say the least) to see who her cabinet and advisors were.

And I have to say, the Ditto-Cam footage of Rush Limbaugh's head exploding would be a whole lot of fun to watch.

The Big Decision
Here's the e-mail I sent to the editor of the paper that wants my exclusive services as a freelance reporter:

After careful consideration, I’ve decided to stick with [the paper] as a freelancer. As I told you the other day, I do have four or five stories in play for [the other paper], and since I took the assignments before I was aware of the [paper's] policy, I feel obligated to follow through on them. They should appear in the next four editions, but after that I will be exclusive to [the paper] until further notice.

I hope you guys know that I was unaware of the [paper's] requirements regarding freelancers. If I had known about it, I surely wouldn’t have taken other work at a competing paper.

Thanks for working with me on this. Talk to you soon.

Part of me feels like I traded my freedom for a little security, but I have to remember that there are more sides to this to consider.

There are a few reasons I chose this route:

1. I like working for this particular paper. They pay regularly, and they have offered me more work every month I've been with them.

2. This paper is the biggest one in the area, and my byline will receive more attention. This will help my business grow.

3. I've already learned a lot from the editors of this paper, and I expect to learn even more.

4. By limiting myself to one newspaper, I will have to pursue other types of writing in order to expand my business.

5. To be honest, they pay more per piece than the other paper did, and that's a factor I can't ignore. It's the last factor, however.

6. I have specific goals in mind about my business, and at this moment, my relationship with this paper is the best way to acheive those goals.

So that's it. Now I have to deal with the folks at the other paper, which won't be at all pleasant. I really like them, and they gave me work. I'll have to disengage carefully and as professionally as I can. The last thing I want to do is step on anyone for any reason and the truth is, the other paper has been pretty good to me.

I haven't enjoyed the past couple of days, but I count them as a time of growth. I had to re-evaluate my goals as a writer and as a business owner, and that's always a good thing.

RIP Frank Gorshin
Frank Gorshin, most famously known as The Riddler on the Batman TV show from the 60's passed away today. Here's a link if you want to read more:

http://www.wnbc.com/entertainment/4503355/detail.html

I think this guy was immensely talented and I always enjoyed his work. I've heard tell that he was a decent human being as well.

When All Else Fails...
I'm still bugged by this business with the newspaper and even though I have stewed and pouted about it all night, I still haven't come to a decision as to what to do.

So, I went grocery shopping. Today is payday for me, and even though I worked the overnight shift last night, I am still pretty wound up.

Three things make me feel better every time I do them: fill the cupboards with food, fill the car with gas, and pay bills.

Those things, combined with loud music blasting through the house (I'm home alone until 3 PM today) will help me put things in perspective.

Plus, I'm making dinner. That's always therapeutic for me too.

A Not-So-Good Writing Day
I got a call from the editor of one of the newspapers for which I do freelance work, and they aren't happy that I am writing stuff that is appearing in other newspapers. Apparently, it is against their policy for freelancers to sell stuff to other papers.

I've signed no contract -- in fact, I've seen no contract. The editor said that I will be hearing from their legal department and chances are that if I want to write for this paper, I will have to be exclusive to that company.

Apparently, the "free" part of freelancer doesn't seem to apply here. Not only do they own my work, this company seeks to actually own me -- without hiring me.

So it appears that I have a choice to make. I derive more income from this client, but being exclusive to them will hurt me in the long run because I won't be building a client base that will allow my business to grow.

And part of me chafes at the thought that they want to control me without making me an employee. In fact, it really pisses me off. I can't make a decision when I'm in this frame of mind. Stay tuned; I'll let you know what's up.