Time Warp
As of last night, I've rejoined the 21st century.

A couple of weeks ago, I accidentally destroyed my cell phone by getting it wet. Yes, it is my third phone within a year. I lost my first one, and got the second wet. I'm looking for a waterproof phone.

I found a cheap phone on Ebay and it came in the mail yesterday. It's a couple of years old, but it works well. So if you have my cell number, feel free to call me.

Note to stalkers: did you really think I was going to put my cell number on my blog? Bwah hah hah!

Big Day Ahead
6 July

Our house is about to be Visited. Strange men are coming here today to fix various and sundry things.

First up is the cable company. We have had problems with cable and Internet for a couple of weeks, and after hemming and hawing and stalling, they are coming over today -- between 9 AM and noon -- to "squeeze us in" and see if there is something they can do about about our crappy reception and the fact that not all the channels we pay for are coming into the house.

About noon, the glass guy is coming to replace a pane in our library that was busted by a flying rock. That rock was chucked at our house by an industrial-strength riding lawn mower about fifty yards from our house.

Here's what happened: Most Patient Wife and I were trying to take a late-morning nap when a crash and giant THUD came from the adjacent room. Glass was everywhere, and the middle pane of our window had a softball-sized hole in it.

We figured out what happened, and talked to the place across the street that employed the lawn mower guy. They are paying for a new window. The rock (named Rocky) has a place of prominence on one of library bookshelves.

Later this afternoon, a computer repair guy is coming out to look at our system. We've had a ton of problems with our computer the past few months, and I can't wait until we can once again do things like use our printer, listen to audio, and use the CDR-W drive. I'm also looking forward to having the computer go more than a half an hour without crashing.

So it's a busy day here. I'm also writing up two of my stories for the paper, and working on a new writing project I might say something about here. It's nothing more than an idea at this point, and I haven't found a way to give it legs yet.

So...what's up with you?

Yay. It's July Fourth.
4 July

Let me tell you why I hate most holidays. The weather here in Minnesota is mild and pleasant today, on the Fourth of July, and that means people are out in droves enjoying the lakes and streams and tourist-y type things. I like people just fine and I even enjoy spectacle sometimes – especially when there’s a spontaneous gathering of people and things get a little crazy.

But I don’t like parades. I don’t care for fireworks. I don’t like giant crowds of people all rushing to get in or to somewhere, all in a hurry to get the best spot. So when someone asks me what I want to do for a holiday, I say something like “stay at home” or “go to a movie” or “go to a friend’s house”. I meant it the other day when I said that this year’s Father’s Day was the best ever, and all we did was boat around a strange lake in rented pontoon. I took a nap while we were on the water. It was perfect.

People always tell me that I’m supposed to do something on these Important Days, and I have to admit that I feel a little guilty because I’m not doing Something Big, or spending money at some giant sale, or traveling somewhere and standing in a field staring up at the sky and seeing stuff I’ve already seen fifty times before.

But I just don’t want to. I want to be with my wife, doing stuff we like to do. So here’s what we did today:

I read a couple of books. Not great books, or important books, but fun ones. I finished up Edna Buchanan’s Shadows, the latest in her series of cops who form the Cold Case Squad in Miami. I started it late last night and finished it up this morning.

Then I got all of 4th of July by James Patterson read. It’s the latest in his series of his “Women’s Murder Club” books. I don’t think Patterson actually writes these any more; he’s got a ‘co-author’ that has worked with him on the last two books in this series.

I just picked up a book by Larry McMurtry that I’ve had for a long time but haven’t read yet: Zeke and Ned. It’s a long book with small type, so I expect that I will take a day or two to finish it. Not that I mind. I re-read McMurtry's stuff all the time. At this moment, he's my favorite writer.

Most Patient Wife has spend the day reading, too. So has AngryTeen, who is now watching TV.

We played a game of two-handed Spades, in which I totally trounced Most Patient Wife. Usually she kicks my butt, but today I got lucky.

We grilled burgers and brats. I’m using a charcoal grill this year, and I am still relearning how to use it after a few years of gas grilling. I like both, but the convenience of gas grilling puts it a little ahead of charcoal for me.

And finally, Most Patient Wife and AngryTeen want to go to the fireworks show, so I’m going. But I ain’t a-gonna like it.

Tomorrow I have a couple of interviews lined up for my newspaper stories, and I have other business In Town, so I’ll be away from home most of the day. I’ve got a busy week ahead of me. I’ll post here as I can.

Woo. Reading. Taking a nap in a pontoon on a lake. We Sawins really live it up, huh?

First June Post
It’s been about three weeks since my last post. Frankly, I’ve not felt like writing entries. But the prodding of a couple of people who won’t be named and the encouragement of JD's Blog JD Long have brought me back to the keyboard.

There have been a few ups and downs the past few weeks.

The downs: I have low-grade but persistent neck pain that is driving me nuts. I could take pain killer for it, but I don’t want to get into that habit. The worst part of it is that the pain interferes with my sleep. After a couple of hours of lying down, I wake up stiff and sore. And crabby. I sometimes nap in my recliner, but it’s not deep sleep.

The best sleep I’ve had in the past month was on Father’s Day. In fact, I’m putting this year’s Father’s Day down as the Best Ever. More details in a bit.

My job at the coffeehouse ended three weeks ago. They “eliminated the position” – and to be honest, it’s probably a good thing I’m not there. The management style of the folks in charge was infuriating to say the least. But the fact is that I loved that job so much that if I were ever to win a lottery, I’d open up my own place and bake every day of the week.

The part that bugs me the most is that I really gave that job everything I had and they let me go anyway. The managers and owners were disrespectful to me, and drove me nuts. But I got along with most of the staff and as I said, I really loved the work. The worst part of it was that everyone on the staff knew before I did. Wowzers, do I hate that.

Another bad part of this is that the owners are prominent members of the arts community in this small town, and they are on the board of the local community theatre. There’s no way I’ll ever be able to work that organization now. So that means I can’t do theatre here, I won’t go to the only place in town with decent coffee, and I no longer have the income from a part time job. And my best efforts were rejected by people I wanted very much to get along with.

See why I haven’t felt like posting lately?

The highs have been pretty good lately, though. I’ll start with Father’s Day. Now, if someone were to ask me what I would like to do for Father’s Day, I would probably say one of the following:

* Watch a favorite movie, like Lonesome Dove, or Little Big Man, or any of the Zatoichi Blind Swordsman movies.
* Spend a few hours on the computer, perhaps playing Runescape or something.
* Go to Duluth and see Lake Superior.


But just to show how wise and thoughtful Most Patient Wife is, she came up with something I would never have thought up on my own: we rented a pontoon and spent the day boating. We packed a bunch of our favorite snack stuff and went to the lake.
Remember when I mentioned at the beginning of this post that this was the Best Father’s Day ever?

AngryTeen and I splashed around in the water for a bit, but most of the day was spent just tooling around the lake. And the day culminated with a most wonderful nap: I lay down on an inflatable mattress and dozed for an hour or so as we were anchored in a little cove. It was the deepest, most satisfying sleep I’ve had in recent memory. MPW read a book and AngryTeen had a nap of her own.

It was exactly what I needed. And even though I didn’t even know it, it was exactly what I wanted! Is my wife cool, or what?

Another high point of late has been in regards to the writing stuff with the newspaper. I’m still frustrated about the non-compete stuff, but the writing goes well and I’m learning new stuff with every piece.

Last week, we had some friends over and had a great time playing Sequence and watching The Iron Giant. We have a lot of kid-friendly movies, which came in handy for our friend’s four year-old kid.

MPW made a big batch of her famous jambalaya, as well as cornbread, fruit salads, and cherry cobbler. All that food was needed to replenish ourselves because we started the day with a hike the lake at (sort of) well-known St. John’s University. We ate, we played, we hiked, and it was a wonderful day.

So that’s what I’ve been doing lately. I’ve logged quite a few hours reading as well. My next entry will be about the stuff I’ve been reading.

What I'm Reading
I've been rather busy lately, but I've still taken time to read. I read every day, from dozens of websites to a couple of newspapers to books. I haven't read any fiction lately, unless you count a couple of books from rabid radio talk show host Michael Savage.

I'm almost ashamed to admit that I'm reading his books The Savage Nation and The Enemy Within. Savage's political rhetoric is rather dangerous -- just enough fact sprinkled in with the outright hatred to make what he says seem plausible.

I'm also slugging my way through some books by "America's Master Gardener" Jerry Baker. Now that I'm a landed homeowner, it's time I learn how to take care of a lawn and garden the right way.

Good Writing Day
Being addled by both allergies and allergy medicine didn't stop me from working today. I wrote three guest editorials that will be published a couple eof weeks, and a smaller story as well.

So, it was a good writing day today. Combine the income derived from these pieces, a shift at the coffeehouse and then on the overnight at the group home, and today was a good money day as well.

The Massive Pollen Attack of 2005
I mowed the lawn yesterday, and then played around in one of the small gardens in our yard. I had a lot of fun and worked pretty hard.

About a half an hour after I went into the house for dinner, I started to feel a little snorky and itchy. I took a shower, thinking that maybe I was having a little allergy attack.

When I was a kid, the problem was pretty serious -- rashes, swollen eyes, and clogged sinuses. I was miserable.

As the night wore on, things got worse. My eyes turned purple and swelled up so bad I could barely open them. I covered them up and took a nap before going to work at the group home.

An hour later, I woke up feeling better. Not looking better, though. When I got to the group home, they took one look at me and sent me home. Apparently, I could have scared the kids!

So I slept at home last night and today, through the magic of chemistry, I feel a lot better. My face is still so swollen that I look like someone clocked me a good one.

It's still not nearly as bad as when I was a kid, though.

Just a matter of time before this is a comic book or cartoon series....
It's the biggest news in law enforcement since Elvis Presley shook hands with Richard Nixon while accepting a US Marshall badge. The words in bold are my ever-so-witty comments.

Shaquille O'neal Joins Department Of Justice.

It's a full-court press against the bad guys.

Miami Beach Police Chief Don De Lucca welcomed Shaq to his police force. "Shaq's interest in police work is very real," De Lucca said. "He'd be a great undercover guy.?

Ummm? the cops know that everyone knows who Shaq is and what he looks like, right?


"I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet," O'Neal said recently.

He drops by the department regularly for one-on-one instruction, speaks to De Lucca at least once a week, and is a few training hours shy of being certified to make arrests, conduct search warrants and carry a .40-caliber pistol.

O'Neal has been interested in law enforcement since he was a teen. He was raised by a stepfather who was an Army sergeant. Two of his uncles worked in law enforcement.

While playing for the Lakers, he went through the police academy and became a reserve officer with the Los Angeles Port Police.

During the 2000 offseason, he rode along with the Orange County Sheriff's Office in Florida. They recovered three stolen cars and made a handful of arrests.

I think this could lead to a new trend in pro basketball. Instead of being a bunch of thugs, they might all get legal guns so they can bust perps and slam dunk crime as we know it!

My House Smells Today
When I got home from work this morning, the house smelled of sweet peppers. That's because last night I made homemade sweet and sour pork, with three different kinds of fresh peppers. Throw in two apples, a strong onion, some pineapple and a can of chilis, and the result is a sweetness combined with sour that lingers to the next day.

This morning, I stopped off at the coffeehouse on my way home. One of our main cooks is out with a back injury and I popped in to see if they might need a little help. They asked if I would make a dessert or two, real quick.

I punched in and looked around at what was on hand. Then I gathered up a couple of cookbooks and scribbled some notes.

The result: two rhubarb desserts. One is a rhubarb spice cake, heavy on the cloves and nutmeg and covered with a mild vanilla frosting. The second is rhubarb crisp. I topped it with some oatmeal, walnuts, cinnamon and butter and a little whole wheat bran.

The whole restaurant smelled of rhubard and sweet clove, and the waitresses said that people were asking when the stuff would be done.

It was a nice way to spend an hour. I worked at the group home last night and when I get home, I'm always restless anyway. So it's nice to get paid for an hour to go bake and make people happy.

Loving The Job
My work at the coffeehouse has really taken a turn for the better. My hours have changed, and so have my duties.

On the days I don't work at the group home, I go to the restaurant at 3 AM and work until about 7:30. I work alone for most of the morning, which means I get to cook, bake, and blast music. Not too terrible, eh?

Every day, I bake three kinds of muffins, two varieties of scones, cinnamon twists, caramel rolls, and whatever cookie I feel like. Yesterday, I made ginormous peanut butter cookies, and today I made snickerdoodles. A few times a week, I make chocolate chip, molasses and oatmeal-raisin cookies. I bake bread almost every day.

I also make soups, Rice Krispies Bars, pies and cakes. If we need them, I make pasta salad, potato salad, and other assorted items. If someone comes in wanting breakfast, I cook things to order. It's busy, but it's also the fastest four hours of my day.

Honestly, I wake up in the mood to get to work. I'm actually excited about this job at 2:30 in the AM.

Man, if I could get this place to give me full-time hours at the pay rate I get at the group home, I would do this job for 20 years.

I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a job as much as I do this one.